Seven Steps
by KyraKitty
Summary: Sanji works through his addiction to women through the aid of Tony Tony Chopper
1. Shock, Denial and Anger

Shock, Denial and Anger

It had been a month since the crew of the Going Merry had set foot on an island, so everyone was excited, especially Luffy. He grinned and waved everyone over to the railing. The island was a central point for trade, so it made for a good place to stock up on supplies, though that's not what Luffy was thinking about. His mind was on what type of people he would meet there, and if anything exciting would happen.

Sanji peered over the rail and smiled. A center for trade. This was good. Sanji had begun to get low of food, and had to improvise a bit with their meals. None of the crew noticed, though, but he certainly did. He looked forward to finding some new types of meat, vegetables, anything. Then Nami stood next to him and started to list the things they would need to get aloud, and Sanji's heart sped up.

"Sanji-kun?" she asked with a saccharine voice.

His eye was instantly replaced with a heart, accompanied by several other hearts floating around him, "Yes, Nami-san?"

"Would you help me shop today?"

"Of course, Nami-san!"

His heart was racing and his body almost trembled. The moment she spoke to him, everything felt different. A bit more distant, a bit more surreal, and he looked forward to the day all the more.

Moments after Usopp and Zoro docked the ship, everyone was off on in their separate directions, save Zoro who simply opted to sleep on the ship.

"We'll go into that shop first, Sanji-kun."

Sanji nodded, hearts trailing him wherever they walked. Shop to shop she piled a little more into his arms, but he didn't notice. Truth be told, he didn't notice his arms either. He was just so happy to be with Nami that he didn't notice much. His vision blurred into some sort of hazy dream, and everything he heard sounded far away and distant. The only thing he really noticed was Nami herself. He couldn't feel his heart pound against his chest, trying to break it. He couldn't tell that his arms were straining a little, more and more purchases piled against him, and he certainly didn't know what time it was. When he was like this, when he was with Nami, time didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He didn't think, he just felt, and basked in the glow that was Nami. Being around her made him happy and he had to have it. He needed to pull himself away from the rest of the crew and just be with her. In fact, the month had been a painfully long one. Nami spent so little time with Sanji, and for most of it, she was just trying to get something from him. Speaking to him for a second before sending him to do some chore. This was what he had been waiting for. What he needed. Then, not really certain of his surroundings, and not really knowing of his uncertainty, he was brutally snapped back to reality.

"Just because he listens to your every whim doesn't make him a gentleman," snorted an irritated swordsman.

Sanji squinted at the man, everything seeming suddenly bright and oversaturated, though Zoro took it as a glare.

"You should listen to Nami-san," Sanji hissed.

He was trying to focus on the seaweed head, a sudden headache distracting him. The pain was intense. More intense than he was used to and he pulled out a cigarette, slipping it between his lips and lighting it. He was tense and needed to relax, but his headache kept getting worse. He heard static and ignored it, taking a long drag, starting to fell his limbs again.

"Are you deaf?" Zoro barked, "I'm talking to you, asshole!"

Zoro's words crashed against Sanji's ears hard, and they started ringing. He began to piece together what had been said from the static that were his shouts, the ringing and headache making it hard to think. He looked towards his beefy companion with a harder squint, ready to make his comeback. All he could see was Zoro, and even then not all of him. A black ring surrounded his vision and he didn't have the time to waste thinking about how it was worse than usual.

"You're not worth listening to," he scoffed.

Zoro started talking again. More static, louder than the last, but less defined. He saw Zoro's lips moving, but honestly had no idea what he was saying, or that all he saw were Zoro's lips moving.

Then, all of a sudden, things were normal. He could see again, and hear again, but he was still desperately confused, trying to understand what was going on. He was on a bed and saw Chopper peering over him, and the rest of the crew standing by the doorway. Doorway? Wasn't he outside a second ago? And wasn't he standing up? He grabbed his head, a headache throbbing lightly in the background and a bruise forming on the back of it.

"I guess all gentlemen faint, too..." Zoro snorted under his breath, arms crossed.

Faint? He had fainted?

Sanji sat up quickly, ready to show Zoro what for, before Chopper urged him to lie back down.

"Ah! Sanji! P-please! Lie down! You're in bad shape!" Chopper pleaded, his expression ridiculous and extreme as he ran around frantically.

"What's wrong with him, Chopper-kun?" Nami asked, looking at Sanji slowly lying back, his body pepping up at the sound of her voice.

Chopper looked a bit scared and nervous before speaking, but that was hardly unusual.

"W-well, I think Sanji has an addiction."

"To what? Cigarettes?"

"Ehm, well, uh, no, to girls..."

All the crew but Luffy looked rather confused, and Nami asked the question on all their minds.

"Is that even possible?"

"Well, it's pretty rare, but it has to do with estrogen and how his body reacts to it," Chopper started to explain, before being interrupted by their captain.

"Make Sanji better," Luffy commanded, his eyes wide, a grimace spread across his face.

Chopper watched Luffy with an almost terrified expression, taking his words very seriously.

"Y-yes!" Chopper responded with a jump, sweating more than a reindeer should.

Luffy walked out, fists clenched, the same, intimidating look on his face. Sanji had to get better, and Chopper was the doctor. If Sanji was sick, who would cook the meat?

After a few moments, all but Sanji and Chopper dispersed.

Sanji couldn't believe this. Addicted to girls? How ridiculous. He merely understood and appreciated women for what they were worth. Since when does that mean he has an addiction? This was stupid, and he was fine, and he didn't mind leaving, even if Chopper thought he was sick.

"I have to go, Chopper. I need to make lunch," Sanji told the doctor, as he stood up, his legs a bit weak.

"AH! But, Sanji, Luffy said I have to make you get better! You still have to rest! And what if you see Nami? That'll just make things worse!" Chopper was obviously freaking out.

"I'm fine," Sanji said, blowing Chopper off and reaching for the door.

Chopper spazzed, begging Sanji to stay, "But you have to lie down! You're not better yet!"

Ignoring Chopper's pleas, Sanji left for the kitchen, seeing Nami talking to Zoro on the way. His eyes brightened a bit at her, even if she was with Zoro.

"Nami-san!" he called out, "What do you want for lunch?"

Nami looked a bit awkward before Zoro made his presence very known, his sheathed sword suddenly at Sanji's chest.

"You're not supposed to see Nami. Doctor's orders."

Sanji pushed Zoro's sword aside, completely disregarding the threat.

"And I'm supposed to listen to a seaweed head like you about some imaginary addiction?"

Zoro's sword quickly pulled back up, and was at the blonde's throat.

"Captain's orders are that you get better. Doctor's orders are that you stay away from Nami."

Just as Sanji was prepared to do something to Zoro, his hand already starting to shove the weapon down again, Nami spoke.

"Actually, Sanji-kun, I don't think I'm hungry. I'm just going to go back into town and do more shopping."

She felt very uncomfortable and wanted to get out of there. She tried to ignore how Sanji's nostrils flared up once she said his name.

"Nami-san?" he asked, "Do you need me to help you carry things again?"

"N-no, Usopp-kun already agreed to help me," she said, giving him a fake smile.

"What?" Usopp responded from across the deck, "I didn't agree to tha-"

"Usopp-kun," Nami almost begged, "You don't remember?"

Usopp wasn't so dense not to catch on, and he somehow immediately remembered.

"Right! Right!" he said, sweating a little, "I, uh, guess we should go."

Usopp made his way towards Nami, who was making her way off of the ship. He wore a bit of a woeful expression, as he really didn't want to help Nami shop, but he knew it was important that Sanji didn't help her. Why didn't she get Zoro to do it, though? He was right there, and though in Usopp's stories, he would never admit it, he was certainly stronger than Usopp. Nami turned around.

"And Sanji-kun?" she asked, masking how much she didn't want to talk to him, knowing now what she really did to him, "Could you do me a favor?"

"Yes, Nami-san?"

"Listen to whatever Chopper says, okay Sanji-kun?"

"Of course, Nami-san!!"

Nami and Usopp left, and Sanji gave Zoro a fierce glare before making his way back to Chopper, a little irritated, and with a little bit of a headache.

Nami led Usopp into a bar and heaved a little bit of a sigh. Usopp gave her a confused expression. Wasn't the plan to go shopping? Why were they at a bar? And why was Nami looking so down? She was strong, determined, and though he would never say it to her, kind of a bitch.

She ordered two drinks and traced her finger along the edge of her glass before speaking to Usopp, who was busying himself with actually drinking.

"Do you believe it? That's Sanji's addicted to women?" she asked.

Usopp wasn't sure what to say, or how to respond, so he responded the only way he knew how.

"Of course! A third of my crew was addicted to women! And half of that to men to! Not to mention the ones addicted to defeating their enemies! Why, I myself was addicted to picking up more members of my crew. So addicted that I got ten thousand crewmen before I finally stopped. Of course, I, the great Captain Usopp, could overcome such an addiction. I once got rid of an addiction while defeating a giant bat. It was bigger than you could imagine!"

Usopp had started to ease up, doing what he knew to do, but he didn't honestly know if lying would work at the moment. When he told his stories, it was to cheer people up. And sure Luffy and Chopper loved them, but Nami knew they weren't true. He didn't think she particularly disliked them, but he didn't think she found much comfort in them either. But in a situation like this, this was really all Usopp could do. What was he supposed to say? That he had never heard of anything like this? That he really had no idea what was going on or what was going to happen? How would that help? No, it was better to lie. Usopp had been telling a story for some time now, even though he wasn't really paying attention, and neither was Nami.

"But, as it turned out, the bat was the least of our troubles, because the moment we had finally beaten him, his cousins showed up!"

Nami heaved another sigh, and Usopp hesitated for a second, giving Nami the opportunity to speak.

"Usopp?"

"Y-yes?'

He was nervous. What was she going to ask him? How was he supposed to respond?

"Do you think Sanji will get through this?"

"Of course! Why, my crew..."

He started to ramble on again, and both of them seemed to ignore him. Nami wasn't really thinking about the question she had asked; she was thinking about the question she was too afraid to ask. And is it my fault?

Another small sigh fell from her, but not one so small that Usopp didn't notice. He looked to her, genuinely concerned, and put his hand on hers.

"Sanji will be fine. After all, I'm sure he's been through harder."

With these words, Nami smiled just a little before finding herself acting as she normally does.

"You know, a hand on me like that will cost you," she smirked before taking a gulp of her drink.

'What??" Usopp screamed, his expression of sheer shock.

"Now you really will have to help me shop, unless you want to pay me two thousand beris."

"T-two thousand?! That's ridiculous!!"

"Then shopping it is."

After a while of predictable argument Usopp conceded, and they both forgot how concerned they were, if even for just a moment.

Sanji harrumphed his way back to Chopper, pulling out a cigarette once he was through the doorway. Zoro might think he won, but Sanji only left because Nami had told him to. Well, because Chopper had told him to stay there, and Nami had told him to listen to Chopper, but that was close enough for Sanji. He put his lighter away and took a long drag before closing the door with his foot behind him and sitting on the bed in Chopper's little infirmary.

Chopper was both surprised and glad that Sanji came back, if not a little confused.

"Y-you're back! But I thought you said you were fine. What happened?" Chopper inquired.

"Nami-san told me to listen to you, so I'm listening," said Sanji. Then, without even thinking about what he was saying, "Nami-san is just so wise."

He started to drift into a sea of daydreams before Chopper had to pull him out.

"Ah! Sanji! I need to talk to you!" he almost begged everything he said with Sanji. After all, if he didn't cooperate, what could Chopper do?

Sanji raised his brow.

"Yeah?"  
"Well, uh, um, it seems that, ehrm," Chopper could hardly spit out the words. He was the ship's doctor, but he always had so much trouble actually talking to people about their problems, even if he knew exactly what to do to fix them.

Sanji was getting tired of this, and he wanted to leave. He knew he was fine, now he just had to make sure Chopper knew he was fine. He would've just left again, except he had to obey Nami, and she had urged him to listen to this frantic little reindeer. Not that he had anything against the frantic little reindeer. He was alarmingly adorable, and it seemed impossible not to realize that. He was always grateful, one of the few people who actually thanked Sanji for the food he made. Except for Nami, but Nami was perfect. He took care of them, too, tried to make sure they didn't kill themselves fighting. And he never really meddled in anyone's business. The worst he really did was freak out. But that was harmless, and when it came down to it, he could hold his own. Sanji just didn't want to be holed up when he should be making everyone lunch, especially Nami-san.

"That, uh... you need to stay away from girls, erm, your body's sorta, ehm, breaking itself from the inside, and, uh, it's because of girls. So, ah, I'll stay with you until you're better, but you can't see any girls for a while," With every word, Chopper looked like he was about to cry, or maybe burp, but he looked very uncomfortable. He hated this, telling someone what to do. He knew Sanji would be mad at him. He was overwhelmingly grateful that Nami had told Sanji to listen to him, but in a way it petrified him more. It meant that what he said actually mattered, because it would be listened to. Well, Luffy had told him to make their cook better, and that was what he was going to do, even if it almost killed the both of them.

Stay away from girls? This is what Chopper was telling Sanji to do? That jerk. It suddenly dawned on Sanji that maybe their doctor wasn't that great of a doctor. He was obviously delusional.

"You're wrong," Sanji told him simply.

"W-what? But you have an addiction! Y-you fainted today!"

"I just haven't been eating lately," Sanji said, completely blowing him off. It wasn't completely false, but it didn't come close to explaining his fainting. He hadn't been eating as much, but he could certainly handle it. He should know that that was nowhere near the reason, and he did, underneath it all. But he was fooling himself. He wasn't lying to Chopper on purpose. This is what he believed, because this is what he made himself believe.

Chopper was starting to feel desperate. He had to make Sanji understand the importance of this somehow, but other than screaming, he didn't really know how to make himself heard. This was a serious problem, though. Sanji had an addictive personality, and soon it wouldn't just be girls and cigarettes he was addicted to.

"Sanji! I know you've been stealing my painkillers!" Chopper blurted the words, regretting having said them instantly.

Sanji's eyes widened, or maybe it was just the one eye. No one could be sure. He didn't think anyone knew. He had just been getting a few headaches from time to time, and needed something to dull the pain. That's what they were for, so how was that even stealing? What a ludicrous accusation!

"I never stole anything. You must be mistaken."

Now that they were getting into it, Chopper felt that he had to go through with it. He couldn't just drop the subject, however much he wanted to.

"W-well, it's just that, I keep inventory of everything, and my pain killers keep disappearing."

"So? It could've been that freakish body builder," Sanji snorted. Chopper had no proof that he was stealing anything.

"I saw you!"

Sanji snorted again. There wasn't much he could argue against now, but he still doubted that Chopper knew for sure it was him.

"Sanji! Those pain killers are very strong, and very easy to get addicted to," Chopper was practically pleading to him, "if you don't stop all this, your headaches will just get worse until you die!"

Sanji could see that Chopper was genuinely concerned, and that he really believed that he was in danger. Sanji knew Chopper was wrong, but for both Nami and Chopper, he would listen to what he had to say. If he had to stay away from girls, he would do it until he proved to the reindeer how well he was. He would hate it, but it couldn't take more than a few days.

"Alright, fine. What exactly am I supposed to do?"

Once Usopp and Nami returned to the ship, they both went their own ways, and Usopp's own way happened to be towards Luffy and Zoro at the front of the ship. Luffy was sitting comfortably on the sheep head that was the stern of the Going Merry, and Zoro was leaning against the railing. It seemed they'd been talking a moment ago. Usopp felt he had to voice his concerns.

"Are you guys sure about all of this? I mean, even if this addiction thing is true, that stuff's pretty hard to get past. You think Sanji will be alright?"

Luffy leaned backwards and smiled, wearing the blissful ignorance of a seven year old.

"Of course Sanji will be fine! He is one of my friends!"

It was as simple as that.


	2. Guilt, Bargaining and Depression

Guilt, Bargaining and Depression

It had been just a few days since Sanji's addiction had come to light, but the whole crew had sort of fallen into place without their chef. They took turns making the meals throughout the day, except for Luffy and Chopper. No one trusted Luffy with food, and Chopper had his hands full with Sanji. Or maybe Sanji had his hands full with Chopper. No one was really sure, and the only one really willing to bother them to find out was Luffy. The rest of them made sure that didn't happen. All they really knew was that Chopper never let Sanji out, or he just didn't want to come out. Usopp was the only one to see him since Sanji's argument with Zoro. Even then, it was only once, and Sanji was merely making his way to the bathroom. He looked a bit sullen, and seemed tense. Everyone saw Chopper from time to time, but not very often at all. He seemed stressed out and skittish, but no one was sure if it was a change in character or not. Either way, their business was to run the ship like normal. They were about to leave the island, having stocked up, and run into an unexpected lack of trouble. They wondered if Chopper had even told Sanji they were leaving.

Sanji lay back in the bed staring at his cigarette. He tapped the end of the filter with his thumb, making ash float its way down to the floor. He watched the bent roll of paper slowly burn. The glow of it traveled closer to his fingers, and left grey in its wake. He saw the seam of it, where the paper had been pressed to itself, and the little bits of dirt and oil left by his fingers. There wasn't much, hardly noticeable, but he was staring at it, so it wasn't surprising that he did notice it. Though, his mind was all but on the cigarette. He just needed to distract himself, think of something other than Nami and the migraine at the back of his head.

He heard the door being opened, and he turned his head to see who it was. He already knew who it was, and knew what he was bringing, but without much else to focus his attention on, he might as well turn towards the door. It was Chopper, and he was carrying sandwiches. They were peanut butter and jelly. He could tell by looking at them, and once he bit into the sandwich handed to him by Chopper, he could tell that it was made by Usopp, too. He could taste that the sharpshooter had made it, as odd as it may sound, and he didn't like his meal.

The reason he didn't like it wasn't just because he could tell that Usopp had made it. He simply didn't like it because it was bland. Even for peanut butter and jelly, it had no finesse. It was sad, and it killed Sanji that he wasn't allowed into his own kitchen. It had been three days, and he was wondering when Chopper would finally realize that Sanji was fine, and let him see his beloved Nami again.

Chopper was surprised at how composed Sanji was. It had been three days without seeing any girl, and he barely seemed to care. Well, that was how he acted, but it was obvious that he was smoking more. As obvious as it could be, at least, with how much he smoked to begin with. Twice he had woken up in the middle of the night and reached for his pack. With how long it was taking to get into the worst of it, Chopper was worried about how long they would stay in it. Even though Sanji was being obedient, it wasn't hard to tell that he still didn't believe he had any sort of addiction. Well, he would realize it soon, even though Chopper wished he wouldn't and they could just forget that Sanji had ever fainted.

"You know," said Sanji, once he had swallowed, "I'm really feeling better now. I think I can get back to my kitchen."

Chopper looked worried and started rambling to Sanji, "But if you go to the kitchen, you might see Nami, and if you see Nami, all your progress will be lost! Aahhh! That would be terrible! And then we'd have to start all over again! And Luffy would be so mad! Luffy's already upset that it's taking so long! Ahhh! It would be terrible!"

While Chopper rambled Sanji took a drag of his cigarette and snorted smoke out his nose once Chopper was done. Fine. So he'll wait a few more days. He gritted his teeth. If only Nami hadn't told him to listen to Chopper. This near solitary confinement was starting to wear thin, and there was little to nil for things to do to pass the time.

Then there was a knock on the door, and Chopper jumped.

"W-who is it?" the shortest member of the crew asked.

"It's me," responded a familiar voice. Chopper sighed in relief and Sanji sighed in regret. One had hoped it would be Nami, while the other feared it, but no, it was the long nose.

Chopper opened the door for him, and he walked in with a pile of boxes in his arms. Slim boxes. They were board games.

"Nami said to give these to you two," Usopp said, a bit uncomfortably. The sweat was standing out on his neck, and the urge to leave and fear in his eyes were apparent. This was honestly the last place he wanted to be, but he still owed Nami for touching her hand. And, underneath it all, he thought they could do with some games. Even though Sanji wasn't Usopp's favorite crewmate, he was still his friend, and he didn't want him bored to tears.

"She also says that she'll collect her debt for buying them later," he added.

"Nami-san sent these? She's worried about me?" Sanji perked up noticeably. His nostrils flared, and a ridiculous grinned smeared itself across his face.

Both Chopper and Usopp got very nervous at the thought of Sanji acting lovey-dovey, and started panicking.

"Ah! Ah! Sanji! Don't think about that! Here! Lets play something!" Usopp yelled.

"Usopp! What'll we play? What'll we do Usopp!" Chopper screamed.

Sanji's attention was brought to their frantic yelling and shuffling through board games, and Sanji sighed. His headache banged at the back of his head. Since he was stuck here anyways, he might as well make the best of it. He reached for a deck of cards and spoke up.

"Why don't we play a card game?"

The other two men calmed down and agreed. They sat on the ground and played a riveting game of Egyptian Rat Screw. For an instant, while he was slapping his hand down to claim his cards, Sanji forgot about Nami. Then he remembered her again before he felt chill.

Another day came and went, and Sanji was doing worse. They were on the sea again, and once Sanji found out, he cursed them for not giving him the chance to stock up on new food. Zoro had told him that the food issue was taken care of, but the fact that the message was delivered by him made it all the worse.

Sanji sat on the ground playing Sorry with Luffy and Chopper, and he had actually started to like yelling at Luffy about what the rules were. It gave him something to do. Some release. Any release was nice. It was starting to get to him, the lack of female companionship. He was tired of seeing these male forms come in. Each of the crewmembers had only come in once, excluding Nami and Chopper, but he really felt the lack of Nami's presence.

Sanji leaned forward, a small plastic figure representing himself in his hand, and knocked Luffy's figure aside after counting out spaces on the board.

"Sorry," he said, when he was, in fact, not at all sorry.

Luffy snorted and wore a glower that was very fitting for him.

"Hey!" he yelled, "Don't knock me off just like that!'

"That's how the game works!" Sanji yelled back, "I land on your square and I knock you off!"

"Fine then!" Luffy was determined not to loose, and he quickly knocked Sanji's piece aside with his own.

"You idiot! You have to roll the dice and happen to land on my square!"

While they quibbled, Chopper felt like he should keep the peace, but he didn't know how, so he merely tried to get their attention by tugging on their clothes. Once he got their attention, he wouldn't know what to do anymore than when he didn't have it, but he was as Chopper is and didn't really know what to do with himself for all the doing he was doing anyway.

The argument had degraded into Luffy kicking the game aside, and Sanji taking a drag on his ever-present cigarette. Then, he put on his jacket.

"Are we going through a cold front or something? It's freezing," Sanji asked the doctor.

"I don't think so," Chopper responded.

Sanji shrugged and tried to calm his captain down and salvage the board game before Luffy lost all the pieces. After a few minutes of this futile practice, Sanji gave up and told Chopper he was going to bed.

"I have the worst fucking migraine anyway," he said before finding a spare blanket and making his way to sleep with it.

The next day Sanji woke up sweating and cold, the pain in his head worse than the last night. Before Chopper was up, he rummaged through his medicine, trying to find the painkillers. Aha! He found them, the little blue pills. As he pried the container open, he couldn't help but wonder how Chopper did it with his hooves. He took two of the pills and silently left the room, Chopper asleep in the corner of it in a little hammock.

He slipped into the kitchen and grabbed a glass, quickly filling it with water. Two pills rested on his tongue before being washed down to the back of his throat. They tasted terrible for the moment they sat there, but they were worth it. Then, through his headache, he looked around his kitchen. He was disgusted. How could he not be? They had taken his little haven and made a mess of it. Everything was out of order. He gripped the counter hard as he took it all in. He gripped the counter harder as his rage boiled up. He dented the counter. How could they do that to his kitchen?

That was it. He had to get out of the stupid infirmary. It was stupid how they were treating him, and he'd been patient enough. Somehow he stopped caring that Nami had told him to listen to Chopper. He had to have his kitchen back. Enough was enough.

And then he saw Nami walk by.

That was it. He had to get out of the stupid infirmary. It was stupid how they were treating him, and he'd been patient enough. Somehow he stopped caring that Nami had told him to listen to Chopper. He had to see Nami. Enough was enough.

His nostrils flared, and a heart found its place on his face, and before he knew it, he was calling Nami's name out.

"Nami-swaaaaaan!"

Nami had just gotten out of the shower, and was concerned about the next island. That is, until she heard Sanji.

Well, crap.

"Sanji!" she responded, "Aren't you supposed to be with Chopper right now?"

"Nami-swaaan!" Sanji pranced about, hearts drifting around him, "I just couldn't stay away from your beautiful presence!"

He floated around her, holding his hands together and almost nuzzling against her. She didn't even pretend that she wasn't pissed.

"Sanji!" she commanded, "Go back to the infirmary right now!"

"Y-yes, Nami-san!"

It was really the last thing he wanted to do, but Nami had asked him to, so of course he would obey. Just seeing her for a second would hold him over, he thought. Being away from her for so long had pained him so much, and he had known that if he could just see her, it would make it all better.

"Of course, Nami-san! For you, anything!"

Then he floated his way back to bed.

It really bothered Nami to see Sanji like that now, but there was nothing she could do.

"Ah!" Chopper yelled shortly after he had woken up, "Two more of my pills are missing! Sanji! You didn't take them, did you?"

Of course he had taken them and had even been awake since seeing Nami, though he didn't enjoy it. He couldn't fall back asleep with the ringing in his ears. Even with the painkillers he had stolen, his headache persisted. Also, Chopper screaming as soon has he got up didn't help the matter.

"If I had taken your pills, my head wouldn't be hurting like this," Sanji hissed before sitting up and lighting a cigarette.

"Ahh..." Chopper looked over to him, concerned, "I guess not."

"No, of course not. So stop blaming me."

"S-sorry," Chopper responded, looking a bit blush and embarrassed.

"Hey, Chopper? I wanted to ask you something," Sanji said. He needed to see Nami again. Seeing her for that moment reminded him how much he missed her. How much he needed to feel how he felt when he was around her. And the bright harsh world without her didn't help convince him otherwise. "Don't you think I can go out again?"

"Ah!" this idea clearly worried Chopper, "B-but you're not better yet!"

Sanji cursed under his breath.

"Just for a little bit? Just so I can make a good meal for everyone?"

Chopper looked pained, and he didn't want to say what he knew he would have to.

"I'm sorry Sanji, but I don't think it's a good idea."

Damnit. If he pushed it he might be able to get Chopper to ease up a bit, maybe let him out, but it would just be easier to sneak out and see Nami at night. Sanji was having a hell of a time falling asleep anyways. He might as well spend that time being productive.

"No, it's ok. I understand," he said before grabbing the deck of cards again, "how about some Go Fish?"

The next time Nami saw Chopper that day, she pulled him aside to give him something. It was a lock, and a key.

"Here, Chopper," she said, "I don't think Sanji will listen to you. I saw him in the kitchen this morning."

"You what??" Chopper was suddenly horrified at what he heard, "He got out this morning? He was sneaking around? Oh no! What'll I do?"

"Put this on the door and use this key," Nami handed Chopper the key, "I saw Sanji taking some pills this morning, and since you weren't around, I didn't know if he was supposed to take them or not."

"Th-thank you!" Chopper said with a jump. He ran off. He really didn't want to use the lock, but he might not have a choice. He certainly couldn't keep Sanji away from Nami simply by telling him to stay, no matter how much it felt like he was caging him up like an animal. And it was important to know that Sanji had stolen the painkillers. It either meant that he was lying about the headache, or that things were going along faster than Chopper expected. Even so, getting headaches with the painkillers worried him.

Nami almost regretted giving Chopper the lock, but she knew she needed to. She had used it for her dresser, but with Sanji locked with Chopper, it didn't seem like she would need that protection anyways. Not that Sanji had ever raided her panty drawer; she just felt that she needed the extra protection. Was it right, though? To lock Sanji up like that? He must be having a miserable time as it is, and to make him even more prisoner. Maybe she was making a mistake.

No. He was an addict. She'd seen people with addictions before. They couldn't help themselves. When things got out of hand, they had to have whatever they were addicted to, and would do anything to get to it. Eventually Sanji would get desperate, and it would be good that Chopper had the lock.

Eventually Sanji got desperate. His plans to merely sneak out at night had been thwarted by something as simple as a lock. So, now when Chopper was asleep, instead of merely slipping out, he had been trying to pick the lock. This had actually gone on for a few weeks now, and the crew started to get more and more worried. They would never voice this concern to Chopper, but it was there. They hardly ever saw Sanji, and everyone made sure that he never saw Nami, even while going to the restroom. They were nearing the next island, and it seemed a shame for Sanji to be cooped up in his prison the whole time. But what could they do?

Chopper had certainly begun to feel the weight of it. Every day he was a little less energetic, and more serious. Chopper had seen much worse, but he had never been close to the people going through it. He was only ever really close to one man and one woman, and now, he had friends. One of his friends was in pain, and he was helping to cause it. It tore him up inside. Every time he saw Sanji lying there, shivering, he wanted to let him out, or cry. Sometimes he did cry. He was scared for Sanji, but he didn't let anyone else know. He saw how they looked towards the room in which Sanji was kept tight that they wanted more than anything to know how he was doing, but they couldn't. Luffy had entrusted in him this responsibility, and he would take care of it. Sanji needed to get through this, and having the others pry and prod wouldn't help. So, as he walked back into his little infirmary, before he opened the door to see his patient, he had decided that he would do whatever it took to help Sanji get better. That's what everyone wanted, anyways. For Sanji to get better.

When he stepped inside, he saw Sanji jump from the door to the bed, and wrap the blankets over himself. Had he been listening? Waiting for Chopper to come back? He didn't really know what Sanji was thinking anymore. He was obviously a wreck. He used to get dressed and groom himself every morning, maintaining his composure. He was cool, and was handling things well. That quickly fell away. He was in shambles now, his hair constantly messy, he constantly in pajamas. And he shivered non-stop. And sweated. He smoked more than Chopper thought possible. Chopper wished more than anything he could just make Sanji better.

Sanji was a wreck, and he knew it. He knew that if he just made the effort he could look a bit better, be a bit cleaner, but he had forgotten how to care. He hurt all the time. His bones ached, and he was constantly cold. And he had nightmares. Every moment he slept, his nightmares haunted him. Not that he got much in the way of sleep. He almost hated to be alone, but it gave him the chance to work on picking that damned lock. He knew that if he could just see Nami, things would be better. If he just saw Nami once, things would be fine. Everyone would see how fine he was, and he would clean himself up, and he could cook everyone dinner, and things would be normal. He could have his kitchen back, his life back. He hated everything now, and couldn't remember the last time he wasn't smoking. A few times he had complained about needing a cigarette until Chopper reminded him he was already smoking one. He hated the cold most. He couldn't block it out. He had gotten so many blankets, but he was still chilled. Chopper had given him a heating pad, and it helped, but not enough. He lips were chapped, and he felt them sting when he talked. So he didn't talk. There wasn't much for him to say in the first place. He'd grown tired of board games a while ago, and now just waited. Waited until the day they finally decided that he could leave, and things could be the same again, or until he could pick that lock.

"I brought lunch," Chopper said as he entered the room and locked the door behind him.

Lunch. Yes, Sanji was hungry. What was it today? Who had made it? Usopp? Zoro? Chopper? He knew Nami made food, too, but they didn't let him eat it when she did, because they realized he could tell. Chopper made his meals instead.

Chopper handed him a bowl and a sandwich.

Tomato soup and grilled cheese.

Sanji bit into the grilled cheese.

Oh. Today was Zoro's turn to make lunch.

"He burnt it," Sanji said, once he swallowed.

Chopper sat and drank his soup, not sure how to react. He was always uncomfortable around Sanji now, but not as uncomfortable as Sanji must be. Then Chopper pulled out a few pills and herbs, and handed them to Sanji. Sanji already knew he was going to get them. He swallowed them quickly and downed some soup. Luffy had helped with the soup.

"They let Luffy in my kitchen?" Sanji asked.

He was afraid that Chopper might think he was mad. He wasn't. He already knew his kitchen was gone. He'd have to fix it once he saw Nami, once he got out. He was just curious. Luffy never helped make anything before.

"O-oh, um, yeah. A-apparently he said he wanted to help you get better. H-he said he would make a soup that would make you really strong," Chopper said, totally unsure of how Sanji would react.

Sanji drank more, then spoke.

"Tell him, it's very good."

"Y-yes!" Chopper responded, pleasantly surprised at the small smile Sanji wore.

It wasn't very good. It was too thin, and the tomatoes were kind of chunky, and it was never warmed enough. But it was good because it made Sanji remember that they were doing this for him. Or at least they thought they were. He remembered his childlike captain, and how he would do anything for his friends. Well, regardless of what they were trying to do, he had to see Nami, and they didn't understand that. They didn't need to, though.

Chopper woke up to the noise of a lock being opened. He instantly sat up and saw Sanji at the door. Sanji looked towards him, his eye wide, caught in the act. Chopper instantly jumped up and held the door shut, his body larger than usual. He couldn't afford to fail. Sanji was depending on him. He could not be lenient.

"Where are you going, Sanji?" Chopper asked, his voice a little more stern than both of them expected.

"I, uh, I just wanted to get a glass of water," Sanji answered, talking out of his ass.

"Then I'll go with you," was Chopper's response.

Sanji's plan had backfired. Now Chopper knew he could pick the lock, and he couldn't even sneak to Nami's room. He would still try though, even with Chopper there.

Together they went into the kitchen, and Sanji didn't even bother to look at how much it had changed since he was locked away. He knew it didn't really resemble his kitchen anymore. He didn't need to see it.

As Sanji drank his glass of water, Chopper stood there both awkwardly and impatiently. His demeanor didn't match his current build, but that was the last thing on Sanji's mind.

"Are you done?" Chopper asked once the glass was empty.

"Yeah," Sanji responded, and started walking back. Of course, Sanji didn't go directly back, he went the long way around which just happened to pass Nami's room.

Chopper wasn't so oblivious to not realize that they were going to long way around, and he suddenly started sweating. He'd have to cut this situation off, but he didn't know how. He didn't want to.

"S-sanji, maybe we shouldn't go this way," he stuttered.

"Don't be ridiculous," Sanji said, Chopper's nervousness seeming to rub off on him, "C'mon."

Chopper followed him, looking around like, well, a scared deer. They were almost to Nami's room, and Chopper couldn't let Sanji see her. He couldn't fail.

"Sanji, you can't do this!" he whispered at the top of his voice.

"It'll just be for a second, Chopper. That's all."

Chopper grabbed Sanji by the shoulder

"You can't," he begged him, and silently to himself, "Don't make me have to stop you."

Sanji turned around and looked towards the hulking man-beast in front of him.

"Just for one second," he said, "Please?"

"N-no, you can't."

"Please? That's all I need. A second. Please?"

"S-sanji, you can't."

"I just need to see her," Sanji fell to his knees and buried his head against Chopper's stomach before he started to sob, "Please, let me see her."

Chopper was completely at a loss for what to do. How was he supposed to deal with this? What should he say?

Then, without thinking, Chopper just held Sanji's head against him and started crying, too. He had barely felt the tears brim up before they started to pour down his face and get lost in his fur. He felt Sanji grasp the fuzz on his belly.

Sanji knew he was never going to see Nami, and he couldn't even think about it anymore. Nothing made any sense, and everything hurt. He was tired of the constant aching and the constant cold and the constant headaches. He couldn't do this. He couldn't act like it wasn't getting to him. He felt his hair get wet and matted against Chopper's wet and matted fur. He was broken, and was tired of trying to pretend he wasn't. He couldn't control his breathing and he sobs came out awkwardly and uncontrollably. His shoulders heaved up and down in his loose, wrinkled pajamas.

"I never wanted this," he wept, "I never wanted to be like this. I-I don't want to be this. I don't want to do this. It hurts, Chopper. Everything hurts, and I just want it to stop. Please, let me make it stop. I can't do this anymore. I can't take it. Just tell me what to do to make it stop. Please, make it stop."

Chopper just stood there crying, grasping Sanji's hair as Sanji grasped his fur. He could feel Sanji shivering as he cried, and he hated himself.

"Sanji," he cried, "I'm so sorry..."

"Please, help me."

"I will, Sanji, I will..."

In her bed, Nami could hear their wailing and shoved her pillow over her head before a shudder ran through her body. Then she tried to fall asleep.

The next day Nami sat in the crow's nest, keeping her eye out for the land they were expecting to see sometime soon. She was slumped over, and the upcoming island didn't rank very high on her list of thoughts. Then she turned her head towards the ladder. She had heard someone coming up.

It was Usopp.

"It's your turn to make lunch," he told her.

She turned to him and sighed.

"I know," she said.

"Nami-san? Are you alright?" He looked a bit worried and sat next to her, "You're not usually so down."

"Sanji is hurting. Really hurting," she looked forward at nothing.

"Why would you say that? I'm sure he's fine. He's really tough. Remember when we fought Arlong? And we've all been through worse since."

"I heard him, Usopp. Outside of my room last night. He was crying, and I keep thinking that..." she broke off, biting her bottom lip. She could feel a lump in her throat that threatened to bring tears to her eyes. She tried to swallow it, and it felt weird and wrong. She could let herself cry. She had already cried enough when they fought Arlong. She wouldn't cry again. She breathed steadily before she could speak, and was afraid to blink. If she blinked, the tears trapped in her eyes might escape.

"...That maybe it's my fault," she finished.

Usopp wanted to help, but he found it hard when he felt himself agreeing with her just a bit. The only person who really condoned of her use of others was Sanji, and that turned out to be a much bigger problem than any of them expected. What should he say? It was ok for her to use Sanji, because she didn't realize what she was doing to him? She shouldn't have used him in the first place. But she didn't know. She thought it was harmless, and it would've been.

"Nami, you didn't know."

"I guess so," she agreed.

That's no excuse. Just because she didn't know didn't make the situation any better. She should've known. She should've been less thoughtless. Whatever she did, though, she couldn't afford to sit around moping about it, and she certainly couldn't afford to almost cry because of it. She was strong, and didn't dwell on things. No, it's better not to dwell. Best to move on and make things better.

"Well, I have to make lunch, don't I?" she gave a shallow smile before leaving the crow's nest.


	3. Acceptance

Acceptance

In the next few weeks, everything seemed to fall into step. It took time, and it was hard, but Sanji was feeling better. The rest of the ship had really gotten into the rhythm of things without their cook, and Chopper had gained some confidence. Once it became evident to everyone that Sanji was really working to get past his problem, the mood of the entire ship got a little brighter.

Sanji stood in the room that used to be his own. He smiled a little, his heart thumping a bit faster than usual, and pulled out a pair of slacks and a crisp dress shirt. He had been wearing these pajamas for far too long. With clothes in hand, he made his way to the bathroom, and took something of a bath. His pajamas flew across the room into a hamper, and he let the water cover him. Over his chest, over his shoulders, over his head. He sat up and grabbed the shampoo. He worked the suds through his mane, and dipped himself underneath the surface again. Bubbles made their way from his nose to the surface of the water while the soap in his hair dispersed to make a thin film across it. He leaned against the edge of the tub and smiled. He could feel the dirt being lifted from him even before he started scrubbing his skin. Then he took the soap and did just that. He spent more time than he usually would. But it felt good. It felt good to get all the dirt off of him. He was clean. And he would stay clean.

He stepped out of the bath, and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist. His body dripped with water as he walked to the mirror. He looked at himself and smiled a little. He breathed long, paced breaths. He was nervous. Today, for the first time in around a month and a half, he was going to cook. Chopper deemed him "better", and Sanji agreed. He didn't know what he would do if he saw Nami, but he didn't worry about that yet. He was himself again, and that was important. After a moment, he discarded his towel and grabbed a bit more stylish garb. He put on his clothes, and it felt nice to have something crisp and clean and classy against his skin. How long had it been since he wore these clothes? He didn't know. He just knew it had been too long. Once he was dressed, he took a moment to preen. Comb his hair out and cover his eye for reasons everyone else stopped caring to wonder about. He was hygienic again, and it certainly felt good.

He made his way back to the men's barracks and slipped on a classic black tie before grabbing the classic black jacket. Then he put on his boots and grabbed a cigarette. It was time to make supper.

Sanji opened the oven to pull out his meal and felt a little accomplished again. The lasagna was done. He smiled at it, ready to present it proudly to his crewmates. He hummed as he sliced it up and put it onto separate plates. Next to them he placed the appropriate slice of garlic bread, baked to perfection. He somehow managed to balance all six plates on his self with grace, his step light as he twirled out of the kitchen. Everyone looked hungrier than he was used to seeing them, and with eyes closed by a grin, he slid the plates onto the table before sitting down himself, ready to enjoy his meal.

A cheer of "Itadekimasu!" was heard before everyone began digging in. As soon as Sanji had started to enjoy his meal, he heard a chorus of compliments.

"Wow! This stuff is awesome!" shouted an excited captain, "But it needs more meat!"

"This is really good, Sanji," said the sniper.

"I guess having the curly brow back is good after all, "snorted a swordsman.

"Sanji! I knew you would make a great meal!" said their doctor, overly excited.

Sanji wasn't sure if they were just flattering him, but he didn't care. It was nice to have the praise. Then, he heard the last compliment.

"I'm glad you're back, Sanji" she said, "I missed your cooking."

Sanji's heart jumped at her voice, but he calmed himself. He could control his emotions now. He wouldn't turn into that fool he was before. He was better than that.

"I'm glad to be back," he responded.

She gave him a relieved smile, but he was distracted before he could notice.

"Seconds!" he heard a few voices cry out.

"After this, there's some flan for desert," he said, "And Luffy! Don't talk with your mouth full!"

Things were normal again.


End file.
